H: No.
C: And I'll excuse you.
H: OK.
C: Most people think I'm Ralph Malph from Happy Days. I was in Washington D.C. two and a half years ago doing an event and I got back from the event late at night. They put me up this nice hotel. I walked through the lobby, I'm really tired, I get on the elevator. The elevator door starts to close - you know you're really tired and as your elevator is closing someone shouted out "Hold the door! Hold the elevator." And I went to hit the button, and then thought it was too much to lean over to hit the button. So I was just like lean back, I don't hit the button, and as the door is closing I see your face - in the closing door looking angrily at me, and the door shut, I was like "Ahgggg!"
H: Good night. (shake hands, trying to leave)
C: No, please. Please stay. I didn't realize. I was tired.
H: I was tired too. Maybe you had a big day. I had a big day too.
C: I'm sorry. I could've just forgotten it, but I felt I should bring it up and in fact...
H: I went up the stairs. Seventeen floors. I tried to find you.
C: I heard someone banging on my door about half an hour later.
H:I didn't really recognize you but I was looking for a big mean guy. I'm glad I found you.
C: Let's straighten things out. First of all, I want people to relive the horror of what that was like for me. We can recreate this right now. If you'd be so good, Harrison, to looking into that camera right now. Tired (Harrison making tired face) You're angry and then...(door shuts)
Now it's only fair to recreate what it must've been like for you to see this. (Conan making frightened face as door shuts)
I mean you have so much crowd and you could easily have me killed.
H: No.
C: Well, we're very happy that you are here.
H: Well, thank you.
C: Congratulations -- the number one movie, which is a cool thing.
H: For the moment...
C: Wow, you know something I don't.
H: No, I'm very pleased. The responses have been great.
C: It's interesting because you are famous for being very cool-headed. You are cool guy. You don't get excited. If I was in a number one movie, I'd be stirring the pot, dancing wearing a thong, jumping around. I'd be very excited to say the least. What excites you? If being in a number one movie doesn't do it, what really makes Harrison Ford wig out?
H: I guess I don't wig out.
C: Even if the following things happen? We have a few demonstrations here. Would you get excited if you got to play bass with Limp Biscuit? Would this excite you? What if you got to go streetking?
Would that really get you going? What if we gave you a chance to actually be reborn? What if you could be reborn? Wouldn't that get you excited right now? Look, you are wigging out! (Harrison starts wigging out)
H: And I am wearing a thong.
C: OK.
H: Come on...
C: I didn't need to know that. That's why I didn't let you in the elevator. Now, let's talk about the film, What Lies Beneath. Scary movie.
H: Ah, yeah. I think it's a thriller, psychological rather than slasher scarry.
C: Which actually can be scarier a lot of times.
H: I think so.
C: Do you like scary movies in general? Is that something you enjoy?
H: No.
C: You don't really like them.
H: No. I'm glad that there are people that like them. But I don't really go to scary movies.
C: What was the scariest movie you ever saw?
H: Bambi.
C: Bambi?
H: Did you see it?
C: Yes, I did. I saw Bambi a long time ago.
H: Then maybe you saw a different version than I saw. I saw a French version.
C: And it was very scary?
H: It was scary. I mean, loss of mother, that sort of thing is scary.
C: Psychologically scared?
H: Yeah.
C: Do you get scared a lot? Do you scare easily?
H: No.
C: (does his trick to frighten Harrison)
H: You see what I mean?
C: I'm so committed to this. I heard that you are thinking of doing another Indiana Jones movie. Is that true?
H: I'm gonna do it alone in my backyard. You know, on video. No, I would love to do one. We're waiting to have a script, and our time for Spielberg and Lucas and I get together.
C: Yeah, people will never get tired of that. I mean, when you're 80, you could do ones where they just bring treasures to you. "That's good. Good job." Indiana Jones and the comfortable bed. "Put that with the rest of them over there."
Now, before you go, I have to ask you. You are of course probably one of the biggest stars we ever had on this show although Mr. T is coming up tomorrow. Someone will get a swelled head. A lot of times big stars have to leave right away. And I'm wondering if there is any way we could get you to stay until the very end of the show at 1:30 for the credit because that would look so cool.
H: One thirty?
C: You don't think so, huh? You are busy guy. You can't do it.
H: I would love to stay. I really would but -- I have some cookies in the oven.
C: It's the lamest thing anyone ever said to me. What if we did this: What if we shot the ending of the show now, and we threw it in there, and then that way people watching the show will think that you'd stayed until end of the show.
H: No.
C: Ah, folks, thanks for sticking all the way to the end of the show. I can't believe Caroline Rhea had to run and you stayed. Hit it Max! Good night. (band starts to play ending theme)
Thank you so much for doing that. It was very nice of you to do that.
H: Bye...(trying to leave)
C: Hold on, hold on. What Lies Beneath is in theaters right now everywhere. Harrison Ford. Thank you very much for being here.